Flying High
Hi-- er... so some people may be thrown for a loop at this journal entry, however, this is Jacklyn using John's account for the time being.
The reason for the journal is because... John never got to properly say goodbye... to anyone. I recieved a letter in the mail a couple of weeks ago-- and... the apologies weren't just to me... but... to pretty much everyone he knew. So... I wanted people that knew him to see what it was that he wrote.
Jay,
Heh, right. So, as I'm sure you know by now, I'm in the hospital, not the most pleasant place to be residing, but I'm sure we've both had our run-ins with the 'care' that these hospitals supply us with. Right now, it's fine, the occasional pain stirkes through, though it's bearable for now. After all, if there's one thing that you've taught me over the past six months, it's that one can always be optimistic. I believe that I've been worrying you all too much since we've been together, it just seems unjust in my eyes to be doing something like that to the one that I love.
Knowing you, I'm sure that you're worrying about me, if I should be wrong about that though... then, heh, I'm glad that you've managed to do so. However, at the moment, I can't help but worry about myself, it bothers my hand to write, to draw (of which the drawings themselves have not come out as good as they could have), quite frnakly, I'm unsure of what the end result will be, though my my one strong leading guess is not one which I am wanting to accept, whatever the 'chances of' are. The reason being? I've made all too many promises to myself, to others, to you, that I would be breaking were I to go along with what it is the doctors are suggesting. Given circumstances, though, I doubt I've any choice but to go along with suggestions.
At times, I would wish that I had not done some things, that I could have done things differently that they had been done before, yet now, I'm glad with the way things had turned out the way they did. You've brought more than just an optimistic view on my life, you made me smile, made me enjoy myself, even laugh. It was always a challenge for me to commit myself to something, yet you seemed so easy to do so - perhaps it was the way I could connect with you, or how you made me dare to go places I didn't know existed. I'm glad to have met you, to love you, to choose you.
For now though, I believe I need to be going... Forgive me for not saying goodbye, for not being with you, for lying. I tried my best, and that seems to not have been enough, for that and more, I apologize, whether or not you accept that or not is up to you and to others, though I'm sure I'll be able to see the end result from where I'm going.
Ton Amour,
John Abel Wilson
P.S. I love you.
I'm... not going to forgive you for hurting her so much. But I will say that I'm glad for Jay to have known you. It made me happy knowing that she was happy. So you know what? You better watch over her, every minute of every damn day! Protect her, be her damned guardian angel!
Adam Atchinson
Well, I guess there won't be another time when I can do this...
Heeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!
I know you weren't fond of that, but please know that I mean it in the highest of senses and respect.
I'm not going to mourn for you. Rather, I'm gonna celebrate every moment that you had with everyone.
Here's to a great run, John. It's been fun.
Somehow, somehow you slipped away from all this.
Make of that what you will, and rest in peace.
-Allen.
--
This is not a signature.
I really wanted to thank you. I'll cherish the things you taught to me back then, and it was quite half a year until we were done. Supposedly because of our very complicated schedules...
Thanks. Maybe in quite some time, I'd be teaching other people on what and how you taught me the ways of better role-playing... We will never forget you, my friend...
And I hope you can rest peacefully in where you are now...
>>Daniel
--
Kingdom Hearts: Shadow Frontier V2.5
Clubs I'm included:
:iconDissidia-Fan:
~ornitiadanz
I often end up grieving for the would-haves and the people who need more strength than I can sometimes carry. For the almost-weres. I'm sorry that you somehow knew this would happen.
She's what I consider my best friend, and I'll be there for her more when I can finally get on my two feet again. Although, while I have not the proper words, and with all my regrets, I'm glad that you no longer have to fighter that large of a war. The good in the world shouldn't have to suffer, but we all inevitable do.
Thanks for being with us for the time that you possibly manage; it meant the world to us all.
--Duo
--
Over the counter lunacy for your every day needs!
"We eat fear, Sssteve! FEAR! Num num!"
I'm glad we got the time to connect what little we did. I regret not getting to know you better, I truly do. But it makes me happy that we didn't part ways not knowing one another. We were on good terms, I call you a friend, and I can take solace int hat.
I'd give my soul for yours in a heartbeat, I swear to that. I'm not happy about what you did to Jay, but life never was fair to very many.
Rest well, my friend. Put in a good word for me, and we'll get to know one another better another time.
Cheers,
James
--
"Matt Moylan led soldiers younger than 16 to their deaths and he raped a bear! And that bear was my father!"
-Optimus Sledge
...but of course...it's not gonna happen.
I would say I miss you, but it wouldn't be enough. What I will say is that I know you're in a better place now, better than this idiotic and wretched world we live in now, the one that you used to make better just by breathing here.
And even though she was never my best friend, I'll be there for Jay, for you. I know she'll need it. Of course, I'll be there for Taylor, too...jeez, silly John, you didn't even need to ask about that.
I hope you see everyone again. I hope you guys are well and happy...wherever you are.
Amy Lynn Hehir
--
"Sing wise, oh songbird. Sing for a new life, a new day, a new dawn."
You know what I am talking about.
--
Hojo's First Rule of Bioengineering:
If you can still tell what it used to be, there's more to be done to it.
But... you promised, John... you promised... what the fuck am I supposed to do now? People are telling me that you'll watch over me... but do you really want to see me every day... crying because you're gone? I miss you so much, John.
You are the only one I've ever loved... and you are the only one that I will ever love. I wish you didn't leave... I was really hoping for the best when I heard the news....
I shall always love you... forever and ever.
Jacklyn R. Wilson
--
I don't feel what you feel
I don't want to feel this incomplete
No one here can tell me
How to fill this space between
Everyone knows you're my one regret
Everyone knows you're my one weakness
Les vaches y paissant
Lentement s’empoisonnent
Le colchique couleur de cerne et de lilas
Y fleurit tes yeux sont comme cette fleur-la
Violatres comme leur cerne et comme cet automne
Et ma vie pour tes yeux lentement s’empoisonne
Le gardien du troupeau chante tout doucement
Tandis que lentes et meuglant les vaches abandonnent
Pour toujours ce grand pré mal fleuri par l’automne
--Les colchiques
Je vous-manquerai, mon frère, mon ami.
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